I am a reader again.

I dropped off reading for a long time. There were bits and pieces,summaries, reading from the end to the beginning selected portions, but I had stopped reading. And I never read the books I wanted to, the ones that daunted me. When we read, especially the very old things, we are participating in a long conversation that goes back and back and back. Since January: Wuthering Heights, Frankenstein, Manning Marable's book on Malcolm X, the Aeneid.

Now I begin to see, in this huge conversation, that I had drifted off into fatality. I had stopped believing in the ability to do. There is a quiet happiness in me again because once again, I am a believer in the human spirit.

I have finally finished the proofing for the Land of Wind and Light, work on the gender theory book continues, getting odder and odder.

I'm tired of moderation. Moderation needs to get bent over and fucked in its ass.

Well, after years of sitting on my hands, and working on other things, I've finally commenced my first book of what I call radical feminist-genderqueer theory and it is turning out to be virulently anti-patriarchal and deeply unsympathetic to heterosexuality or Christianity. I think it will be massively hated, but I am pleased.

Good Lord, why would anyone stop at this page when I haven't stopped here since November. Most of November, all of December, and the majority of January, almost but not quite three months. What was going on last time I was here? What has happened since? I finished the fourth Rossford book and earned a degree and in synagogue we finally finished Genesis and went into Exodus. I don't write this because it's oh-so-interesting, but because it has happened, and in a way this page is about the things that have happened.

"Sarah," by Delmore Schwartz from Selected Poems: Summer Knowledge (New Directions).

Sarah

The angel said to me: "Why are you laughing?"
"Laughing! Not me. Who was laughing? I did not laugh. It was
A cough. I was coughing. Only hyenas laugh.
It was the cold I caught nine minutes after
Abraham married me: when I saw
How I was slender and beautiful, more and more
Slender and beautiful.
I was also
Clearing my throat; something inside of me
is continually telling me something
I do not wish to hear: A joke: A big joke:
But the joke is always just on me.
He said: you will have more children than the sky's stars
And the seashore's sands, if you just wait patiently.
Wait: patiently: ninety years? You see
The joke's on me!"

Pantheism- the worship of Pan, God of the wild. Rosaleen Norton, the Witch of King’s Cross, took it a step further and claimed pantheism squared, that Pan, God of the Wild, was God of all. A true pantheist believes, unlike many Christians and Jews, that God is essential wild, and that in ones wildness is the key to God.

God- more on this strange word later.

Monotheism- the unsustainable and primitive belief that essentially boils down to: there is only view of the universe, and “wah lah”, it is mine. The current politically correct version of monotheism stretches to where, on paper, Jews, Christians and Muslims agree to share the same god, but, scratching beneath the surface to speak to adherents of any of these groups, one can quickly see that none of them really believes this and, what is more, often believes members of their own group who do not hold the exact same view of deity as themselves are in error. Monotheism is essentially intolerance and vanity. Modern monotheism which spurs “intereligious dialogue” is generally polite intolerance which is why interfaith dialogue accomplishes so little, better to scrap monotheism altogether.

Sexclamation- the surprised and joyous noises let out during sexual intercourse.

Atheism- one of the more sentimental religions to come into prominence in the last few centuries. Like most religions it is not new, and has always been around in some way, shape or form. The essence of this philosophy is the idea that because something is objectionable—the something being God—and because many who claim to believe in the something are deeply objectionable, that thing cannot possibly exist. By this logic all manner of difficult, illogical and often unpleasant things ought not exist. Proponents of this idea often lean on “science” with a capital S ignoring the fact that people just as scientific and far more rational do not share their views. One might remember that in the Middle Ages alchemists attempting to turn lead to gold and scholastics insisting that bread and wine were God Himself did the same thing.